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Sunday, October 21, 2012

What Have I Done?

Your man isn't who you thought he was the day you said "I do". I mean, lint balls from his socks leave a trail on the floor, for you to pick up. You expected to do the laundry, but tossing his dirty underwear with skid marks into the washer? What did you get yourself into?

He uses the last of the toilet paper and doesn't put on a new roll, unless he's the one who needs it, and then he puts it on backward. The nerve of the man! Not only that, he whistles through his nose when he sleeps.

His annoying quirks build up until you think you can't take any more. You feel like you're going to explode.

Wait a minute.

Take a deep breath.

Stop and think.

Are all the little inconveniences worth fighting over? In light of eternity, how important are his habits, really? What about the things that bother him about you? Hadn't thought of that, huh?
Both of you brought quirks into the marriage, but where is the unconditional love and forgiveness?

You know how to poor on the sweetness when you want something, like that new pair of boots. All you have to do is give your hubby that look and he can't say "no". What if you used the same sweetness to communicate your preferences, your desires, and let go of the little things that irritate?

Want to communicate about your dislikes? Okay, but take care. Beware of saying, "You always," or "you never," Unless you want to put him on the defensive… That can become explosive.

What if he becomes defensive anyway? you ask. Pray up beforehand and don't get ruffled if he does. After you've put it out there, leave it alone. Give it to God and wait for Him do His thing.

Or, try focusing on the good instead of your man's foibles. Those times when you become angry are often set off by a spirit of irritability. Yikes … "spirit"? The enemy of our souls goes about like a roaring lion seeking who he may devour (1 Peter 5:8).

Many today are devoured by the lie that if you fall out of love you can divorce. Remember, when you said your vows you made a commitment before God and man. And God takes that seriously.

Commitment means: promise, pledge, vow, obligation, binder, dedication, loyalty. Marriage is difficult enough on its own, and staying connected to the Lord, spending time in His word, and enjoying Christian fellowship on a regular basis is essential. Because, whatever your attitude is in the midst of your trials is huge.

You can't control your man but by the power of the Holy Spirit and an act of your will, you can choose what/who you allow to control your mind.


"Do everything without complaining or arguing." Phil. 2:19


Abba, thank you for loving us unconditionally, for sending your Son to die in our place. Help us love our husband with your perfect love without expecting anything in return. And help us stop complaining and arguing, in Jesus name, amen.


Love & Blessings,

Danie Marie


  1. Great advice, Danie. I've been married 42 years, and it still takes work, especially since my husband was diagnosed with severe congestive heart failure 6 years ago. But you're right about those vows. God does take them seriously.

  2. Does this mean congestive heart failure doesn't go away??? Oh my! You have a lot on your plate sweet friend. :(

    Love & Blessings,

  3. Thank you for the encouraging and positive perspective, and the prayer.

  4. Hi Sue, You're welcome. The lack of commitment today is staggering. Thanks for stopping by!

    Love ~ Danie

  5. Great reminder, Danie. We've been married 43 years, and like Carol said, it still takes work. A lot of work!

  6. I've been married 39 years, and yes it does Vonda! I guess it always will. :/ Thanks for stopping by. ;)

    Love ~ Danie


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